Tomorrow night, at 6:30, the Clifton
Park Halfmoon Library is holding an “I Dig Dinosaurs” event. It’s the perfect way to break up the weekday routine, not to mention my older son, M, is obsessed with
dinosaurs. (The other day, I told him I loved his little chicken legs – he
corrected me to tell me they were not chicken legs, but in fact dinosaur legs.)
So, to say I think he’ll like this event is an understatement.
But this event also holds some additional meaning for me, after
a wonderful article I recently read about “things a four-year-old should know.”
Instead of listing how high they should count or how many words they should
know, the author suggested four-year-olds should know:
- That they are loved, wholly and unconditionally
- That they are special, creative, smart, and fun to be around
- How to be carefree – to smile, laugh, be silly, and to use their imagination
- What their interests are – and that it’s worthwhile to follow them
Ironically, I found the
article while googling (and worrying) about what my four-year-old should know. I
often ask myself “Am I working with him on his
numbers/alphabet/fill-in-the-academic-subject-here enough?” or “Should he be
able to do X, Y, or Z better?” It’s not that I need my child to be a genius. In
fact, it’s not a reflection of my expectations for him at all – I think he’s
perfect. Instead, it’s a reflection of my expectations for myself as a parent.
Somehow I began to equate what my son knew (how well he could recite the
alphabet, what words he knew, etc.) with how I was doing as a mom. And because
every kid develops at their own pace, that logic isn’t right. It’s also not fair
– to him or to me.
So I really honed in on the author’s point about the importance
of fostering your child’s interests. And it turns out I was already
doing that. Our house is host to dinosaur puppets,
figurines, clothes, books, coloring books, and a walking, growling dinosaur. His
birthday party last year was even dinosaur-themed, complete with Bronto-Bounce, Bubblesaurus Rex, and a dinosaur cake. All simple things, but they send
a strong message to M: you are important, and we want to celebrate your interests!
It’s not that the other things aren’t important. In fact, the
other things can be learned through these interests. We count dinosaurs, read books about them, and events like “I Dig Dinosaurs” at the library allow us to learn about them together. It’s just that sometimes, I think parents (myself included) can get caught up in worrying about milestones, forgetting that the true successes may already be there.
So “I Dig Dinosaurs” tomorrow night should be great. We’re doing something that says “We want you to follow where your heart takes you, and as your parents, we want to share it with you.” And that is really what a four-year-old
should know.