My older son, M, is officially potty trained! Well, minus a few accidents here and there that I expect will happen. But overall, he’s there, and I’m so proud of him. His approach to using the toilet has been similar to his approach to many milestones in his life – he did it on his own terms, and he took his sweet little time doing it. As we finally turn this corner, I’ve started reflecting on how we got here, and what tips I might share with fellow parents striving toward a diaper-free existence.
Truth be told, my husband and I kind of put off proactively potty training. Sure, we talked about it a lot and read stories. But M didn’t seem overly interested, and we didn’t push. We just figured he would let us know when he was ready. But when, at age 3, he still showed NO interest in riding the potty train, we knew we had to take some action. Here are some ideas for getting the potty train going, based on what worked for us:
1. Make your child the conductor
Some kids are excited about trying out a potty, or doing what they have seen their older siblings/peers do. M was not one of those kids. In fact, he HATED the potty at first, no matter how fun we tried to make it. So, we set up our bathroom with two toilets – one mini-toilet and one seat that was positioned on top of our regular toilet. That way, the question became “which potty would you like to use?” instead of “do you want to try to use the potty?” Not only did this eliminate the option for a “no” response, but it also presented him with a choice, and gave him a sense of control over the path of this potty train.
2. Get summertime tickets
This was a tremendous boost to our potty training efforts. Warm weather allowed us to let M run around the house naked. Sounds messy, but it actually wasn’t too bad. Because as much as he hated the potty, he hated going to the bathroom on the floor more. And the more he ran around naked, the better he got at being able to sense when he had to go (and then letting us know).
3. Talk about the train’s other passengers
During M’s raccoon-loving phase, I made up a story about a raccoon named Happy. And you know what Happy’s mom wanted him to do? You got it – use the potty. And you know what Happy did, even though it was scary at first? That’s right – he used the potty. It was a short, albeit unimaginative story – but he loved it. If I could get him to relate to Happy, maybe he could follow in his footsteps. Then we could all be Happy!
4. Allow time for delays
Just when you think you’re “over the hump,” something may happen to set them back … it could be a new routine, a new environment, or they might get sick. Don’t expect them to bounce back right away. I have heard from other mothers that this is common – one step forward, two steps back. But it’s all part of the process – don’t get discouraged! (And don’t let them feel discouraged either!)
5. The potty train will leave the station
Mere weeks before I felt confident in declaring M potty trained, I was desperately googling “what to do when 3 ½ year old won’t potty train.” We had experienced another setback, and it seemed that the goal that once seemed so close was now far away. Less than two weeks later, however, something clicked for M and he started using the potty almost all of the time. He knew when he was ready, and he just did it.
Honestly, I think that’s the true secret to potty training – and maybe to parenting overall. We can set our children up for success – in this case, through stories, incentives, support, and encouragement. But the real power to accomplish their goals lies with them. We just have to have faith in them that they can do it.