One of my biggest struggles as a work-outside-the-home mom (working mom doesn’t cut it – there’s not a mom I know who isn’t always working – at home or somewhere else), has been the feeling that I’m not getting enough quality time with my children. Mornings are often a rush to get out the door, and evenings consist of dinner prep, dinner, cleanup, baths, and bed. Sure, we have storytime and giggles, but in the hustle and bustle of everyday living, I have often found myself worrying about quality time. Are we getting enough?
Early in my motherhood days, my solution for this was simple – pack as many family-friendly activities as I could into a single weekend. The more “things” we did, the better the quality time, right? Maybe not. Soon I was exhausted – it was a lot of pressure to do that kind of planning, not to mention the fact that my son was just a baby at the time, so he wasn’t really benefiting either.
Then I realized – my weekends didn’t have to be jampacked to allow me to enjoy my child (now children). That’s one of the many wonderful things about kids – for them, it’s not about where you take them or how many activities you do in a weekend – it’s really about spending time with you.
So I’ve changed our approach to weekends. Sure, sometimes we have busy weekends, especially if there are several events I really want to attend. But the pressure’s off now. Instead, each weekend, we choose one thing we’d like to do as a family. This past weekend, we decided to take the boys to the Children’s Museum of Science and Technology, a great museum in Troy.
On Saturday, my son and I started searching for pictures of lizards on the internet together, knowing they had some lizard exhibits there. (Google Images is a terrific resource for doing “kid research” on anything they take an interest in. I use it any time my son expresses a new curiosity.) His favorite Google Image discovery? A lizard with a blue tongue. I also moved some of his dinosaur books to the top of the pile during our storytimes (after discovering our lack of books of the lizard variety!).
On Sunday, we went to the museum and had a terrific time. Highlights for our three-year-old: the lizards (of course), the owls, and the fish. We also caught part of a show in the planetarium. It’s a wonderful place for little ones to explore and learn – it’s not too big, but it’s a perfect size for an afternoon trip, with some pretty cool exhibits. And much to my son’s delight, they did, in fact, have a blue-tongued skink (lizard).
So, we didn’t spend hours in the car or travel place to place. In fact, our weekend was quite low-key. But by weaving our “lizard” theme throughout our weekend’s activities, it felt more like the whole weekend was an event – one tailored to his interests and his pace. In other words, it felt like quality time.
I know there will come a day when we can’t help but have jampacked weekends – maybe the boys will play sports, join clubs, or have friends’ birthday parties to attend. But until then, I’m going to continue to make our weekends count – by not overplanning and letting the quality time happen naturally – blue tongued lizards and all.